You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize