I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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