so explain again why im purple
no
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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