no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
