i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
