i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
