We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
