You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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