Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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