But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
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Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
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she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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