apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
