i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
