if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
