Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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