I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
