If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
