Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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