i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
