I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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