Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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