Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
