check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
