with your own penis?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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