i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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