question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
