it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
