No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
vagina is talking i cant
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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