At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
