They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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