hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
