508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Screwed.edu
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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