I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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