You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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