mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
