Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
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My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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