my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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