Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
