At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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