That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize