Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
