and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize