The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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