everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
