last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
