his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
