i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
