She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize