He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
