he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize