if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
