ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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