hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
