Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
