I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
