If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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