Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
