Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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