Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize