called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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