I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
