Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
