Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
