Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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