update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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